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Deion
Sanders
There
I was, driving 70 miles an hour down the highway, just looking for a
place to end it all. Finally, I yanked the wheel to one side and pulled
my car off the road. It skidded to a stop in the loose gravel, sending
up a cloud of dust. I hesitated for no more than a second or two, built
up my nerve, and then put the accelerator to the floor and shot over the
edge of the cliff.
How had I come to such a low point in my
life? Deion Sanders! Prime Time! Mr. Millionaire Athlete and all that.
I've wondered many times since that fateful day what really brought me
to that point. How could I have made it to the top of my game in both
baseball and football, with so much success, so much money and fame,
with commercials and endorsements with my face all over them running on
every channel during the season, and then drive off a cliff like that?
What had happened to me?I had just had the best season of my career.
Everything I touched turned to gold. But inside, I was broken and
totally defeated. I remember sitting at the back of the practice field
one afternoon, away from everybody, and tears were running down my face.
I was saying to myself, "This is so meaningless. I'm so unhappy.
We're winning every week and I'm playing great, but I'm not happy."
I tried everything. Parties, buying
expensive jewelry and gadgets, and nothing helped. There was no peace. I
had everything the world has to offer, but no peace, no joy, just
emptiness inside. The Bible describes
it in the first chapter of Ecclesiastes as chasing after the wind, and
that's exactly what it was like. I tried to buy myself something to make
me happy and I was even emptier than before, because I could see that
nothing could possibly satisfy the hunger deep down inside me. All I
could do was stay busy, occupy my time, doing whatever I could to keep
working so the feelings of emptiness wouldn't come to haunt me. The pain
was horrible.I
realize now that God had to get me to the point where He could do what
He wanted to do with me, and that meant that first He had to strip me of
all the comforts, all the success, and all the relationships that I had
depended on. Through the struggles and the doubts and the bitterness, He
was bringing me to the point where I could see His hand in my life.
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None
of my success on the
field
could prepare me for the crisis
in
my life that led to my suicide attempt.
When
I took that deadly plunge, I had
reached
the end of my rope. I was struggling
with
just about everything in my life.
On that
fateful
day in 1997, I swerved off the road and
slammed
my foot down on the accelerator. The car
just
shot up like a rocket. By all rights, it should have flipped or turned
over or nosedived, but that didn't
happen.
When I hit bottom, the car started sliding awkwardly, rocking back and
forth, until I came down hard and slid to the bottom of the hill.
Miraculously, I walked away without a scratch.
Then God started
to send people into my life to share the truth with me--friends, former
teammates, pastors, my attorney.
Late one night, I opened the Bible to a
passage that said, "If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and
believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be
saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the
mouth confession is made unto salvation" (Romans 10:9-10). The words
hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew they were meant for me. At that moment
I put my trust in Jesus and asked Him into my life.
Before I found Christ I had all the
material comforts and all the money and all the fame and popularity, but I
had no peace. When I found Christ, I found what I had been missing all
those years. Only then was I able to trust in God's will for my life. I
have a new sense of peace about what happens on and off the field. I have
a passionate hunger for the things of God, and each day I'm feeding on His
Word. Jesus said, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for
righteousness, for they shall be filled" (Matthew 5:6), and that's
how I want to be.
I had had everything that power, money, and
other earthly things could give me, but it just wasn't enough. It didn't
satisfy me. I was empty inside--desperately empty. Success almost ruined
my life, but, thank God, I came to Him just in the nick of time. And that
has made all the difference.
If you are not satisfied
with what the world has to offer, you, too, can invite God into your life
by praying something like this:
"Dear God, I realize that I am a
sinner in need of a Savior. I believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross
for my sins. Please forgive me and fill me with new life from You.
Amen."
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